So Much Fun

We recently found a letter from a child named Porry Din, or Perry Dun, or something illegible, addressed to someone named "Joe". After several minutes spent reading this letter outloud and laughing uncontrollably I decided to tackle the logic behind the letter. First, since I can't for some reason upload an image of the actual letter from this computer, here is a word-for-word reproduction.

Dear JOE,

Hi I am 9 years oldI like living in aparmes it is so fun. I like playing outside so much because it is so fun. I like playing outside with friends. It is so fun playing with friends friends are so fun to have arownd because it is so fun. I like playing outside with friends.

                           by perny duo (?!?!)

So, apparently:

1. Porry likes living in Aparmes. (Apartments? Parmesans?)

2. Aparmes are so fun to him.

3. Porry also likes playing outside, which is, again, so fun.

4. He continues by saying that playing with friends is so fun.

5. Elaborating on this idea, he assures us that friends are so fun to have around because, cryptically, it is so fun.

Thus:

• if Aparmes are so fun,
• playing outside is so fun, and
• playing with FRIENDS outside is so fun, then logically
• playing with friends in general is so fun.      

We can also imply that playing WITH Aparmes is so fun, however, what exactly is an Aparmes?! Here are some suggestions:

• Apartments, since he lives in one.
• A chicken or eggplant parmesan sandwich, which I would happily live inside of.
• A permy: maybe someone addicted to getting their hair permed?
• A derogatory term for people from Parma, Italy. 
• A mythological Greco-Roman god, possibly of chicken parmesan sandwiches.                  

In the end we are left questioning the effectiveness of the American education system, and laughing spastically at an adorably hilarious and ridiculous 9 year old. I wonder if he spends his days sorting things into two neat little lists: what is so much fun and what is not so much fun. I would like to see his "what is not so much fun" list. Inferring his tastes and mirroring his style, I believe it would look something like this:

Dear DAVE,

Hi I am 9 years oldI hate living in Newurk it is not so much fun. I hate playing inside so much because it is not so fun. I hate playing inside with kitchen utensils. It is not so fun playing with kitchen utensils kitchen utensils are not so fun to have arownd because it is not so fun. I hate playing inside with kitchen utensils.

                             by Parry Dur